An introduction to the talk

I do not use a script when I speak. What follows is mainly for the person doing the introduction (so he or she knowshow to react to events at the start of the presentation). It is also for the benefit of the security person who also has a role at the start.

A full videotape of a university presentation will be available in October but this introduction will also help you to visualize the performance. To preserve the element of audience surprise it should be shared with others in your organization only on a need to know basis. You will soon see why!

This particular version of the talk is intended for audiences up to about age 40. Other audiences will have different requirements.

Common Investment Beliefs That Prevent You  

From Easily Becoming a Millionaire

Props

Scuffed boots, front only, held on top of dress shoes with Velcro for quick release.

Frayed pant legs that are clearly too long, held over dress pants, able to be ripped off quickly.

Long brown raincoat, ripped and stained, apparently buttoned to neck, but held closed with Velcro for quick removal.

Thin cotton gloves with the end of one finger worn through.

Long wool scarf.

Shabby brown hat with long straggly grey hair showing at back, sides and front. Hair is attached to hat for quick removal in one piece.

Well-used brown paper bag containing large bottle of drinking water.

Stage with steps leading to audience.

Intro

Introducer: Welcomes audience as appropriate. Mentions my name once or twice, but not in his or her final sentences which will be interrupted.

Tremayne: Struggles (offstage) with security person who tries to prevent entrance. Breaks away, muttering, and stumbles back to audience onto stage, takes swig from bottle, burps, turns, then appears to notice audience for the first time. Stands, swaying slightly, looking in an unfocused manner at a single point in the center of the audience for the count of 10 long seconds.

Security person is now, hesitantly, onstage – but is told by Introducer to take it easy, you never know what drunks might do.

Tremayne (using Cockney accent, demands of the audience): Wot you lot starin' at? (Looks around belligerently.) Wot yer all sittin' there like a bunch of dummies fer?

Introducer: Hey, whatever your name is, you don't belong here. This is an investment presentation.

Tremayne: Investmints? Ha! I could tell you lot all abart investmints! Cackling and muttering, sits on top of steps at front of stage, takes swig from concealed bottle, sets it down gingerly beside him. Then decides to move it farther away so it will not get knocked over. Then, in this order:

1. Slowly removes gloves and scarf, all the time muttering and laughing to himself: "Investmints, I could tell yer orl abart investments!"  
2. Picks up water bottle, takes another swig, wipes lips with back of hand  
3. Stands, steps unsteadily onto stage, then very rapidly:  
4. Rips off raincoat and tosses it aside  
5. Rips off blue jeans  
6. Removes hat and hair  
7. Kicks off shoes and quickly puts on separate dress shoes  
8. Tosses paper bag off water bottle, turns to face audience and takes another swig  

Security person quickly collects items off stage, removes podium if there is one and exits stage with Introducer.

Talk 

Perception! First impressions!

Did you know studies show it takes about 7 seconds to make our minds up about each person we see for the first time? Psychologists say that we then try to justify that first impression with our subsequent thoughts and behavior.

If you're not popular in school maybe it was because of something you did in that first 7 seconds. If you get an interview but don't get the job, maybe you screwed up in the first 7 seconds.

That's why we're told that first impressions are so important.

So what were your impressions about the character you saw moments ago (and I don't mean Professor __________!)?

• Would you invite him to dinner with your parents?  
• If you did, would they count the silver afterward?  
• Was he someone with whom you wanted to be friends?  
• Did you expect him to be intelligent?  
• Did you expect him to have a good job?  
• Even if you had not seen the brown paper bag would your mind immediately have classified him as a drunk?  
• Did you think he was beyond redemption?  
• Would you accept investment advice from him?  

I will not risk asking your impressions of me! But I am the same person who walked in here moments ago in rags.

My point is that first impressions, though powerful, are often wrong and you cannot judge a book by its cover. My presentation will tear apart some common beliefs about individuals' abilities to invest successfully on their own.

If you doubt that right now, I promise that before this presentation is over you be re-examining some of your current ideas. And if you follow faithfully all of the suggestions I will offer you  

• You WILL make money from your investing program;  
• You WILL make more money than you otherwise would;  
• You WILL do so with less effort, time or concern; and 
• You WILL do so with a greater level of safety and confidence. 

Will that be a fair investment of your time?

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Before I get into the program, I'd like to thank ........ for inviting me to speak to you here in  ....... etc., etc.

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Perceptions! I expect you each have at least some of the following and your parents and grandparents almost certainly have:

• Perceptions about the money you have, and what you can and cannot afford to do with it 
• Perceptions about the safety of savings accounts  
• Perceptions about the impossibility of always buying stocks or any other investment low and selling high  
• Perceptions about the dangers of falling markets and the desire for rising ones  
• Perceptions of the disaster created by a bad investment choice  
• And for many the perception that the stock market is a dangerous place to be avoided at all costs. That was reinforced for many by events of the past few years 

By the time we finish, you will have examined virtually all your perceptions about money, investing, danger and safety. You will never be the same.

(Pause)

Let's start by talking about the money we can put into an investment program.

Most average people, particularly those just starting out in life, consider saving for investment to be anywhere from difficult to downright impossible.

Those in their first job have a wall of obstacles, each of which seems more important with retirement being so far away.  

• Tuition loans to be repaid  
• Getting a car to get to and from work  
• A significant friend  
• Marriage  
• Children  
• Home  
• Furniture  
• And even fun before they get too old at 30!  

In fact, those significant obstacles, with a few others added along the way, clutch at most of us until we are 40 or 50 and decide that retirement, preferably at age 55, is not that far away now and we'd better do something about it.

Now let me tell you something you may find unbelievable until you put it to the test for yourself: If your family income is $30,000 a year or more, you can probably save $200 or more every month without even missing it.

I know that's probably not possible for you now, but let's examine what I just said and jump forward a few years to age 25. Your income is $30,000 a year or better.

$200 a month is $6.67 a day.

Who in this room drinks pop? Raise your hands.

What about snacks? Potato chips? Donuts? Beer? Raise your hands. What does Starbucks latte cost?

How about lottery tickets in hopes that against all odds you may become a millionaire?

We do all these things and more yet we still manage to look after all those financial obstacles we see preventing us from saving as much as we might otherwise like.

Let me tell you a story about a woman who came to my office on her lunch hour some years ago…